Careful Confessions

Picture from here

Soon (ie. tomorrow!!!) I will be book-free! Kindle me babyyy!

So I figured I'd finally move my 10gb of songs into my laptop. "what?" you say? Yeah, I've had it in my external cos I figured it'd be good to have 200gb of free space on my laptop. Talk about miser. wtf.

So I've got an appointment; now I just need the inspiration.

PLEASE.

Last night - wine, dine, ligretto (best investment yet!) and wii (next investment) till 3am. FOL. Oh and tomyammmmmm.

` self-righteous hypocrites

Twas a very sick sense of relief I felt.

While we were on the topic, why not, right?

Merry Christmas people, I had a good one.

Right now, I love the world. Lets see how long this lasts.

My new favourite word? "SERIOUSLY!?"

` you are FULCRUM in my eyes

Mm. 17th with them sixers who dragged me out against my will with me sucumbbing only cos they came from various parts of the world and cos I blew their lunch plans. Sorreh. Was very lazy with the pictures cos well I was ready to sleep and looked like (bluegh), and that's putting it mildly. Very mildly. 18th was surprise murprise cos Charles was back from uk for a week. Sayang bangat! 19th with the CT and Marc scolding me about going shopping in Gardens and being late - all Laura's fault. fml. Lol. Oh and Marc's gift to me? Winning my (lost from the beginning) Monopoly game. Eh I damn loser, can? Dunno how to play. =_= Oh and thank you for cleaning the whole condo -very niceeee. Oh and the condo looked like we were celebrating Hari Raya cos they decorated it in my favourite colour - green - and made me a crown with my name on it - and I wore green that day =_= :) Well, and the rest at school too. Thanks. :) And i'm not showing any pictures of any of my cakes. Yerrrrr. I swear I won't forget all of you and all my cakes. =_= hmph. Lol

That's Ian during mass dress day themed Baju Melayu (I think?). He's the only one out of seven of us or rather most of the people in our class (possibly the entire class, actually) who takes part in all mass dress days. Yeah. From beach wear to this. Except that he wore his sleeping pants for this and turned a lot of heads - girls were shamelessly pointing at him and wasted no effort in concealing their laughter. Then again, we all laughed first thing in the morning when we saw him. Oh weeelllll. Sleeping pakcik pants. Yeahhh. :)

Sorry J, no royalty for photos of your drum set, even if the number of your (very uncountable) cymbals (which I use as ancient-Chinese-hat-looking thingamajigs) trump that of BT and many others! Ten thumbs up for your creativity though, cantik bangat. :) I like.

So anyway, I had my BioP test last week. fml. I spelt Vagus as Vegus. Kill me please. And there were quite a few questions on my favourite topic - DNA. Since I "knew them so well", I just "ee nee mee nee mai nee moh-ed" them and had Nanda stare me down. =_=" But I don't know already, so see my luck lor. Zzzz. Other than that, I like the 12 cranial nerves now, please. Then I thought I knew the myelencephalon and metencephalon. Then I got out of the exam hall only to have Jeremy *gee thanks* be more confident and I didn't remember my answer so I felt uber FML thenafter. Ah. Yes. I think I can't take this shit anymore. Well, we'll find out today/tomorrow if I passed it or not, won't we? :( :(  See my midterms next week, post so long. I needed closure for these few events to put the heart at ease. mm yeah.

/edit: onesevenpointtwofivedammit

And i've been getting them butterflies lately - eeyer. 

Thank you for trusting me. I just wish I could tell the world so they'd 

(if not fully, at least attempt to) understand what you're going through.

Vanities are only charity
And she makes donations at the Tiffany's.

` overboard

Photo Credits: Thiru

Photo Credits: allgraphicdesign

Photo Credits: Joe's Adblog

Thank you.
Screw you.

Love you.
Hate you.

You know the bloc's too? :)

` say one thing and do another

two faced.

In front you're an angel.

Behind, you talk c0ck about him.

hah. I hold grudges like that. So let me be.

` masochistically

I think you shouldn't read this if you're not prepared for what I am about to grouse about.


But then right, you will just read, cos I just said all that, right? ftw.


Then you're asking for it. Now, lets play fill in the blanks at the (*)s.


I can't stand it how my 'rents buy my friends lunch and/or dinner but right, they act as if my 'rents are obligated to do so - cos they are not. (*) you okay? Okay. Many times, I feel like telling my 'rents to screw paying the bill cos I know my "friends" are ungrateful (*)s. haha. To think that these are my "friends" some more. K la. I think my mom's gonna tell me off for this public upheaval i'm creating. But yeah. I'm just going to get this over with.

My 'rents don't owe you a (*)ing living, don't have to pay for your(*)ing meals, but just do because they're like that. If you ask me why I don't tell them friends or if I suck balls at being a friend after this, i'll ask you one question - YOUR MOMMA NEVER TEACH YOU HOW TO (*)ing say THANK YOU IS IT? psht. Don't know how my 'rents can tahan footing each and every subsequent makan, without questioning me about my (*) friends manners or psht. All it takes right, is one (*)ing "thank you". Sure, they're earning $$, not like us, if you say - but common (*)ing courtesy teaches you how to (*)ing say "thank you" nonetheless. Correct me if i'm wrong.

Ok. Confirm gonna kena after this. =_= ftw.

To be fair to some of you who have this common courtesy, thanks for having it and being polite. Yeah i'm really belting this one out cos it has been on my mind for too long - being over a year, at least.


Imbecile.


kbacktowork.

` because i am SO hopeless according to yooou

I STILL have to run in tmr. hoho.

All because I am SO hopeless.

hah. Hypocrisy. My favourite part of this game we play.




I enjoy being dark and twisted. *claps hands*

` this modern love

You know what?

Two posts in a day.

Man I'm lifeless.

Oh Golf yeah :) ?

Anyway, I just browsed it, and I found this.

Friday, August 8, 2008

hmm

you know..
.
they say...
.
friends say sorry.
.
friends forgive.
.
friends take time.
.
but somehow move on.
.
.......right........
.
the question is......
.
so who wants to go first?
.
.
.
.

If you read it, you would've had a chance at patching things up. Why do I still dwell in things of the past? Maybe, just maybe, we shared some bloody awesome times.

Memories don't change with times and people.

Don't worry. I'm not regretting anything.


On a completely off key note,
I think Chuck Palahniuk made it big with this:

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”



:) indefinitely

` you killed my hero

forgive me if I never find it in me to forgive you.
Title says it all.


/edit:
I forgot to mention, that the scenario below happened in class. :)

On the other hand,
all it took, was:
that look,
that nod,
"good",
and that smile. :)

I will be your victory story. Just wait.





I'm just being me.

PERIOD.

` material boy

JUST COS YOU EFFING WANT A NEW CAMERA THEN KNNCB MUST GET YOU ONE FOR SOME STUPID VACUOUS EVENT IS IT.

HOW OLD ARE YOU
_I_


FCKING INCONSIDERATE WEYH DAMN YOU.

` don`t wanna start

Hello.

You can stop reading now if you’re not prepared for a long-drawn-out, ass of a painstakingly pathetic quibble, which I am about to start. Oh and I’m going to sound like a small kid, and I am hysterical, and there really isn't anything you can do about it. Plus, this is MY blog. Right? Meh!

To you,
You know very well that you can’t help but to read this, then ask me about it. ☺
hah. We’re so alike, we would’ve mistaken each other as best friends! Bullocks, huh? *quivers.

I think that deep down inside, we both know how much we’re so alike; and I’ll wager that it scares you shitless, as it does me. When you see me, you see yourself. Do you think I’m full of myself? I sure hope so. Because that is how we are so very much alike, too. Say, I’m only nice when I need something from you (or anyone else, for that matter). Oh man. That just hit the exact spot. You’re just like that too, baby! Just take a step back, and think. Reflect, and look at your life. Remember these “hmmm. I don’t know the texture. Better go be nice and ask her” or “hmmm. I don’t know how to prepare that do. Maybe I should call her” moments? Oh yes. Hell yes. I have so more that I refuse to acknowledge but we both know that I’m not the only one who is like that, at all. Then again, it is the moments like those, where we pick up bits and pieces of life's lessons. And in your words, it shapes us to be who we are and who we will be. Pathetic much, that they were terrible imprints that i'd very much like to (but can't) ignore.

Truth be told, it genuinely nauseates me to see myself in you, or your actions *shudders*. Wait. Let me rephrase myself. It immensely nauseates me to see you in ME. I think we’ve been friends for to long, yeah? Fyi, any disdain you feel towards me, you actually feel for yourself because, and only because we’re so much alike. It took me 19 bungled years (literally), to realize all this and yuck-ick-ugh-blech-eeew! Too long, I’d say. No thank you, I don’t like you. But time has come. Time for change, I tell myself. I keep telling myself that it’s okay but time and time again, you remind me with your own actions, that we are just the same.

From now, I seek change. Not for anyone, but myself. Because if I were to be anything comparable to you, my friend, I wouldn’t bear with me already. heh. I never want to be anything like you. Never. I hope I never. Honestly, ‘never’ has never played such a big role in my life, ever; so I say now, never, because I would just detest me. Right now, after all these realizations, it has suddenly dawned on me that I can now love myself. Call me a narcissist; I wish I were deserving of that title. I’ll save myself the misery of wanting the title I will never get, yeah?

narcissistic
nar·cis·sism (närs-szm) also nar·cism (-szm)
n.
1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

According to the free Online dictionary.

So I memang tak jadi, trying to fit into those categories. heh.

Oh, in R’s words, I’m saving my damned ass before it gets too sorry for it’s own good. Awh, right? :) Sometimes she says the right thing. Other times she's just bleh. wtf. I don't want to use wrong words.


Ultimately,

It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job, which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

- Quoted from text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address.

In conclusion,

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the childrens laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyones shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They cant take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Fucking hypocrites who sang this pathetic song. Not Whitney Houston, really. I mean the other people who sing along to it when it plays on radios, or at an event and what not. You know what? I'm not going to feel empathetic for you. But maybe I can afford sympathy. You deserve need it.


With lots of charity,
the bitch.


Meh.

` idaho fires

I seriously think you'd have more time in your hands to carry out your dutiful responsibilities if only you slowed down on the internet. Do you think the level of importance of what you do surpasses that of my exams and grades? If me doing badly is acceptable, I'm glad to hop on. Call me when you're sober. Otherwise, don't bother.

sigh. stress. gao meng. haha. bye.