personal attacks: cheap shot.
yeahp. I learnt that today, fo sure.
Finally watched the season finale for GG.
"Like, can you say it twice?"
OHMAIGOSH. C and B, finally hitting it off properly! About time! :)
Time to pack my bags and buy shampoo.
On the other hand,
boring =_=. I kinda expected alot more, considering the cast?!
*******
Finally watched the season finale for GG.
"Like, can you say it twice?"
OHMAIGOSH. C and B, finally hitting it off properly! About time! :)
Time to pack my bags and buy shampoo.
On the other hand,
boring =_=. I kinda expected alot more, considering the cast?!
*******
It is very true (for me especially) when it comes to the impression of turning (insert any age here), you never really just turn that age. Say I turned nineteen, right? I wouldn't feel nineteen instantaneously. Do you wake up on the day of your birthday feeling exactly one year older from before? Because I don't. I don't wake up feeling more mature, more intelligent, more self-sufficient or independent. Come on. Who am I kidding?
I remember very clearly my sixth birthday - there was a clown and professionals who painted butterflies on my face and different stuff on my friends faces. I wanted to be sixteen, not just for the frivolity of it all, but because the clown made me lay eggs (ass of a magic trick) in front of my friends. I wanted to be sixteen, so that I would stand up to that huge clown in front of me and step on his damned toes, without being afraid. YeahI was mean like that. I hated the clown alot for making me "lay eggs" in front of a crowd. Sure, the kids prolly didn't understand what was going on, and prolly thought it was cool and all, but I guess it was me wanting to grow up faster that got me all worked up at the clown. I wore a pink dress, and I had a pink butterfly on my whole face btw. I remember distinctly, two people. Jonathan (who's nearly a full-fledged doctor now! - wow) and Emily (I don't remember how I knew her or where she is now, or what happened to her =_= *shy). I wonder where she is, I wanna go back to being six, so I could ask her to stay and be my friend till today.
Then, there was a time when i was nine, and I hated school so much, because of the workload and all that forcing of Mandarin speaking - I got my kakak to do my tuition homework for me, and (duh) my teacher found out, and she kinda rotan me, and I wanted to be six all over again, because I wanted to cry so badly, but I wouldn't cos I was at the tuition teacher's house. I didn't wanna "embarrass" myself any more than I already had. Technically, irrelevant, because in my days, EVERYONE got a taste of the rotan on a regular basis. Plus, Chinese school kids have it harder - if they tell their parents the teacher caned them, they'd prolly get another round at home. Oh yeah. Our parents (nearly 50 students in a class) would give teachers canes (at least two from each of us) for freaking Teacher's Day (FTW), and there'd be at least 100 canes in the cupboard - couldn't have possibly hid or disposed that many - it would've been too obvious. Those days, I wanted to be thirteen so I could get into high school - Mandarin-free. Not so excited about that now.
Throughout my high school years, when exams were coming, I wanted to be twenty five so I would be able to work, and not study. Then when the parents decided to transfer me to a new school on the basis of more appropriate environment and conditions, I wanted to be six all over again, where I didn't have to worry about making friends, or caring even, if I have friends. Lol. Between being fourteen and seventeen, I bailed classes - less, with each passing year of course, but the moments I bailed classes and escaped punishment-free, I felt older, and superior. I felt nineteen. Just like a big girl. When I was fifteen, I never really went out with my friends, and that never posed as a problem, cos I had enough fun at home. When I was sixteen and had the sudden surge to go out, I think my parents freaked, and gave me pretty tight curfews. Those moments, I wanted to be twenty one, so that I could make my own decisions.
When I turned seventeen, my parents let me go out more, come back later - I wanted to be fourteen all over, so that they'd stop me from going out, and call me more often - just for the sake of security. Now, being nineteen, there are so many things I have no control over, and I want to cry - I want to be three, so that I can cry, and no one will judge me. In fact, people would mollycoddle me. When I falter or procrastinate and leave my work to the very last moment and I have to face the consequences, I get really scared, and I wish I were nine, so that school would be just about homework, not completing it, and bearing with the caning. That's all. Today, when I see my people around me sad, and I feel hopelessly helpless, I feel fourteen, and naive.
Therefore, I believe that no matter how old or young you are, you always want something more (or less). I am nineteen, and when i'm scared, I feel the fear I felt when I was six when I got lost in the shopping mall. I am nineteen, when i'm stressed out, I wanna be twenty three and a graduate - that way I wouldn't have to study so hard now. I am nineteen and when I turn twenty, I'll still feel nineteen, eighteen, all the way to three years young, and nothing is going to change. Tomorrow afternoon, I fly off with three friends for an ER, and I know that I am happy being me, because I am blessed - whether I am ten, eleven, sixteen, eighteen or twenty one. Oh and making the decision to come back before class, I felt like I was mature - twenty eight would be the number I would have labeled my age-of-the-moment. Waking up at 5.30am, going for Ascension mass at 6.30am, and seeing the blacks, Ivs and L, I felt like we were all twenty five - mature and deciding on what our priorities were - even if we were exhausted from the previous day - we went there by choice - on our own.
So really, being nineteen, I am one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen years old - until I turn twenty, plus all my being of older ages. Yeah.
I remember very clearly my sixth birthday - there was a clown and professionals who painted butterflies on my face and different stuff on my friends faces. I wanted to be sixteen, not just for the frivolity of it all, but because the clown made me lay eggs (ass of a magic trick) in front of my friends. I wanted to be sixteen, so that I would stand up to that huge clown in front of me and step on his damned toes, without being afraid. Yeah
Then, there was a time when i was nine, and I hated school so much, because of the workload and all that forcing of Mandarin speaking - I got my kakak to do my tuition homework for me, and (duh) my teacher found out, and she kinda rotan me, and I wanted to be six all over again, because I wanted to cry so badly, but I wouldn't cos I was at the tuition teacher's house. I didn't wanna "embarrass" myself any more than I already had. Technically, irrelevant, because in my days, EVERYONE got a taste of the rotan on a regular basis. Plus, Chinese school kids have it harder - if they tell their parents the teacher caned them, they'd prolly get another round at home. Oh yeah. Our parents (nearly 50 students in a class) would give teachers canes (at least two from each of us) for freaking Teacher's Day (FTW), and there'd be at least 100 canes in the cupboard - couldn't have possibly hid or disposed that many - it would've been too obvious. Those days, I wanted to be thirteen so I could get into high school - Mandarin-free. Not so excited about that now.
Throughout my high school years, when exams were coming, I wanted to be twenty five so I would be able to work, and not study. Then when the parents decided to transfer me to a new school on the basis of more appropriate environment and conditions, I wanted to be six all over again, where I didn't have to worry about making friends, or caring even, if I have friends. Lol. Between being fourteen and seventeen, I bailed classes - less, with each passing year of course, but the moments I bailed classes and escaped punishment-free, I felt older, and superior. I felt nineteen. Just like a big girl. When I was fifteen, I never really went out with my friends, and that never posed as a problem, cos I had enough fun at home. When I was sixteen and had the sudden surge to go out, I think my parents freaked, and gave me pretty tight curfews. Those moments, I wanted to be twenty one, so that I could make my own decisions.
When I turned seventeen, my parents let me go out more, come back later - I wanted to be fourteen all over, so that they'd stop me from going out, and call me more often - just for the sake of security. Now, being nineteen, there are so many things I have no control over, and I want to cry - I want to be three, so that I can cry, and no one will judge me. In fact, people would mollycoddle me. When I falter or procrastinate and leave my work to the very last moment and I have to face the consequences, I get really scared, and I wish I were nine, so that school would be just about homework, not completing it, and bearing with the caning. That's all. Today, when I see my people around me sad, and I feel hopelessly helpless, I feel fourteen, and naive.
Therefore, I believe that no matter how old or young you are, you always want something more (or less). I am nineteen, and when i'm scared, I feel the fear I felt when I was six when I got lost in the shopping mall. I am nineteen, when i'm stressed out, I wanna be twenty three and a graduate - that way I wouldn't have to study so hard now. I am nineteen and when I turn twenty, I'll still feel nineteen, eighteen, all the way to three years young, and nothing is going to change. Tomorrow afternoon, I fly off with three friends for an ER, and I know that I am happy being me, because I am blessed - whether I am ten, eleven, sixteen, eighteen or twenty one. Oh and making the decision to come back before class, I felt like I was mature - twenty eight would be the number I would have labeled my age-of-the-moment. Waking up at 5.30am, going for Ascension mass at 6.30am, and seeing the blacks, Ivs and L, I felt like we were all twenty five - mature and deciding on what our priorities were - even if we were exhausted from the previous day - we went there by choice - on our own.
So really, being nineteen, I am one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen years old - until I turn twenty, plus all my being of older ages. Yeah.
I never thought i'd say this,
but today, just today,
I can't wait for the rest of my life.
3 comments:
heyy. relink please. thank you (:
http://myunfinishedstoryy.blogspot.com
Hi there... wow 13 years had passed since you 'laid eggs'... it surely made a great impression on you. I remembered i had to choose between prince charming and ninja turtle, and i chose ninja turtle for my face... hahaha... hmmm what did you remember me by?.. I'm still the same person you know... :)
Well, i can still picture how you looked like without your two front baby teeth the following year.. hehe
Hey Johnathan. :)
Didn't know you read my blog and that you had blog/s too! You make me sound extra old - 13 years; but coming to think about it, OHMGSH. 13 years man, 13 years! Just like that. Sigh.
Oh I remember you for always saving me from situations when we were kids. You were and will always be my childhood hero, man. The times you were there while we went to massive playgrounds (in KL - is it Lake Garden? Can't remember). Oh and one year you were at my house and there was a Santa Claus and I hated him cos of my clown experience.
Somehow or rather, you were rather prominent in my childhood. Ah. The days of Ninja Turtles. I think my 4th birthday was Ninja turtle filled - back when I was convinced that I was made for Ninjas and fighting. =_=
I can picture me and my missing two front teeth and you in your knee-length cotton pants with occasionally matching t-shirts and the thingamajigs :) Those were the days. When we were not so old. LOL.
HOW ARE YOU? :)
Post a Comment