` beauty in breakdown

I doubt anyone would actually read this blog because this isn't my ... "official" blog that I suppose i'm supposed to update. Even my best friends don't know about this. haha.

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.

It's hard not to expect anything at all when we embark on a journey or anything, for that matter, in life. It sucks that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Surprise on the other hand, is a different situation. It really depends what it is we call "surprise".

When you're invited to a party that was organised for you and you see people you care for and not there. That's one. Sometimes, we pretend to be surprised even though we're pretty aware that everyone's being weird around us and we're just waiting for that one moment where they spring up on us. That's another.

Then there's the "surprise" when someone/people go the extra mile for you when you least expect it. (thanks mom and dad for the water bag! I love you both)

There's the present-opening-time and you open all sorts of funky stuff that you like/dislike, want or not, need or not.

Long story short, I love surprises. They plaster the smile on my face and give me the strength to go on.

On a random note,

1: Ah! I was so mad at him! I thought he was perfect! Until I saw him in the car..
2: Haha. It's okay. I get irritated by terrible drivers too!
1: You don't get it! I'd rather someone horned at me than stare at me with fiery eyes.
2: Yeah that's true. *shivers
1: It was a frigging boulder but i tried to make it a pebble!
2: No one's perfect. Its. 60% good & 40% bad or 95% good 5% bad. I think you've got the latter so suck it up!
1: Yeah. Anyway, the waterworks helped. =)
2: It always does. It's not that we cry on purpose. It just comes but we make it a bit more dramatic.
*laughs.

In my life, there are four kinds of people.

runaways
They SMS/IM: about how they feel about this or that, what they should do or whatnot.
i.e. Tries to sort out a misunderstanding.
In Reality/face2face: They don't do anything about it, act like nothing's going on or nothing's wrong.

i-have-yet-to-name-this-species
They SMS/IM: very little about what they feel, barely try to address the problems, its always too long to type.
In Reality/face2face: Bloody hell, they sit you down and force it (the problem) out of you, literally. Sometimes they come on too hard.

the in-betweens
I suppose its pretty normal to be sitting on the fence and weighing the pros and cons.

the suckers
Who just avoids any sort of confrontation on sorting out.

Just last week, I made a bet with this friend of mine. This bet was if a certain someone turned up at the party, i'd have to pay her 10 ringgit. But knowing that certain someone well enough to know that he/she'd chicken out, obviously I won the 10 ringgit. It wasn't about the money. It was the fact that the certain someone proved me right. Thanks.

Another random moment,

1: What you eating?
2: I don't know..
3: Go ask for kuey teow sup kering.
1 & 2: *WTH?
2: Hi aunty, saya mau makan kuey teow sup kering.
4: Lu mau kuey teow hitam keling?

- the end -

That wasn't in any way to disrespect my fellow countrymen. It was just that the lady couldn't pronounce the "r" and it sounded like "l". It was her genuine mistake and i'm sure she didn't know what it meant. =_='

Sometimes when things go wrong, you try to fix them.
When there is a long wait in between, the phase when I still wanted things right again has come to pass. Thus, resulting to the phrase carpe diem.

Someone I once knew told me "Friends come and go. They are passing ships". Because of you, I said "No". I set my foot down. Then I realised my mistake. My mistake of trusting and believing that you'd still be by my side, regardless. Guess I believed wrong. Then again, I believe wrong alot.

Now you waltz back into my life and try to make things right? After all the months of sleepless nights? If only life were that simple.

If only I could turn back time, you said.
If only I knew it back then.
If only I set my priorities right.
If only I didn't mess it all up.

The list of If only's can go on forever. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Seize the moment.

I'm trying to live life this way. I want to love life. How can we love if we don't love ourselves?

When we look in the mirror, who or what do we see?

I want to look back in life, five years from today and know that I don't regret anything I did. That I learnt something from everything i've done and been through.

You once told me that life never gets so bad it can't get worse.

Do you remember? I do...

I think life is as much as we make of it. Half empty, or half full.

For you,

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

Margaret Mitchell

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

God, please grant me the courage and perseverance to unravel the mysteries and wonders of life. Help me realise my purpose here. Forgive me for all else.